Because It Is a Skill You Never Learned
For a lot of people, doing nothing was never neutral. If you grew up in a home where love tracked achievement, or where the mood could turn and staying busy kept you useful and out of range, your nervous system filed rest under unsafe, and productivity became less a habit than a shelter. Fast forward […]
Success: Achieving It, and What It Costs
I’ve spent more than twenty years sitting with people who work hard at what they do. Actors, artists, content creators, teachers. People building lives out of their own effort and talent. And here’s one of the quiet secrets of my profession: a lot of them come to therapy not in spite of their success, but […]
A Gay Son and His Mother: An Uncommon Bond
Four years ago today I lost my mother. What we had, at its core, was a kind of mutual understanding: we simply got each other. She was my biggest cheerleader, and no one held more hope for my success, personally or professionally. I have a husband and people in my life who love and support […]
What the Body Knows About Love
After more than twenty years of sitting with people as they talk about love, the thing that strikes me most is how much the body already knows, tensing or softening long before we understand what we’re feeling. We tend to talk about love as something that simply happens to us, a spark we either feel […]
Chemsex, Shame, and Why It Is So Hard to Talk About
Chemsex refers to using substances like methamphetamine, GHB, or mephedrone during sexual encounters. It happens across many communities, though it tends to be talked about most in the context of gay men and queer social circles, where certain drugs have become deeply embedded in nightlife and hookup culture over the past few decades. Even so, […]
When Envy Gets Cast
You scroll past the announcement. Someone you trained with just booked the role, got the gallery show, and landed the national tour. The feeling that follows isn’t exactly happiness for them, and you know it. That’s envy, and if you work in the arts, you’ve probably felt it more than you’d like to admit. It […]
Pride, Visibility, and What’s Underneath the Celebration
It’s June, which means rainbow flags, parades, and parties. For a lot of LGBTQ+ folks, though, Pride Month carries more emotional complexity than the marketing suggests. It can hold real joy and real weight at the same time, and both deserve space. Pride Was Never Just a Party It’s easy to forget that Pride started […]
When Generosity Starts to Feel One-Sided
The Difference Between Helping and Feeling Used Most people want to be there for the people they care about. Offering support, covering a meal, helping someone through a difficult time, or lending money can all be meaningful expressions of connection. Healthy relationships often involve a natural give-and-take that shifts over time. Problems can arise when […]
When Loss Changes Everything: Grieving the Sudden Death of a Spouse
The Shock That Follows Sudden Loss The sudden death of a husband or wife can leave life feeling unrecognizable overnight. Many people describe moving through the days in a fog—trying to handle practical responsibilities while also struggling to process the emotional reality of what has happened. Grief after sudden loss often comes with disbelief, anxiety, […]
What Jealousy Does—and Doesn’t—Mean in Relationships
Jealousy is one of the more uncomfortable emotions people bring into therapy. It can feel exposing or shameful, especially in relationships where people want to feel secure and emotionally grounded. In LGBTQ+ relationships, jealousy can also connect to past rejection, comparison, or fears around connection and belonging. But feeling jealous does not automatically mean something […]